finally speaking.

How and where to begin? This has been a long time coming, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it to be here.

But I am convinced of the direction, motivation, and conviction of the Spirit of God. He said to me several months ago, “When I speak to you, it’s not only for you, but for you to share with others.” After a few months of wrestling with Him on why and how I am called to this, I began to write. Each time he dropped a thought in my mind or spoke a whisper to my soul, I attempt to capture it. But sharing these precious – and at times, very personal – moments with the Lord seems daunting, overwhelming, and even too honest.

My mind and heart race as I immediately consider what will people think if I say that? What will even come of this? I’m not really equipped or qualified to share these things God is speaking. I already know others won’t agree with some things you’ve spoken to me. I’m not an academic scholar and can’t compete with elaborate and well-referenced writers.

                                                                       Even admitting these thoughts is so tangibly petrifying.

But then The Truth invades.

              You are who God Almighty says you are.

              The Lord gives His gifts as He wills, to whom He wills.

              The enemy is the creator of lies and every kind of deception to stop any good thing.

              God is for you. He has good plans and a purpose for you.

And here’s what the Spirit of God said in His strong and loving way: Shine light into every dark place. Expose every anxiety, every concern, every fear, every thought, and every shame that would like to remain hidden from view. Expose each lie the enemy tries to incise into your mind. That’s how you defeat him continually and consistently. Don’t allow him to get anywhere close to a foothold. All he wants to do is to find you and destroy you. Some things he cloaks in fear, some in the most alluring of disguise. But there is one common denominator: destruction. Light will blast through those boulders of darkness. Light will expose, invade, and expel darkness. So share what light I’ve spoken to you. You are chosen for such a time as this.  

So, here I am. Trying to allow the fear of the Lord to rise above all other fears. Aiming to honor and obey my holy and loving Father, who for some reason chose to speak these words to me. I don’t know all the why’s and how’s. But what I do know and receive, I will share with others, as He has asked.